What to do if you feel down
A new year is always a great start but then... time goes by and one Monday comes and then another.... According to some people the third Monday of the year could be a miserable day.... it is called Blue Monday :)
Is Blue Monday a real or is it psychological nonsense? The theory sounds very legitimate... The first day of a new year looks very promising, but then of course after some time reality sets in. Life just goes on and not only that... many great dreams may have already been shattered.
On top of that, many people don't like Mondays anyway... So just imagine... it is dark and cold outside, you gained weight, you spent all your money on the holidays, summer seems to be far away... sure then it is easy to feel down.... For many people, Blue Monday makes perfect sense...
Whether Blue Monday is real or not, one thing is abolutely certain.... we do feel down sometimes... and if you like to feel frustrated, then Blue Monday seems to be the perfect day...
So what should you do, if a Blue Monday feeling hits you? Here is an answer that might surprise you.... you could even counter intuitive if you like...
When most people feel down, then the first thing that they try to do look for a cause or an explanation. Somehow, this is quite easy, because there are loads and loads of things that can make you feel less happy. Maybe, you don't like your weight, you feel not challenged at work, you want to have more money, you want to speak better Dutch.... Most people somehow believe that it is important to identify the cause...
This is also the moment that all of a sudden a lot of thinking comes in. Because.... now that you know what causes the down feeling it seems that the next logical step is to take away this cause.... In order to get rid of a negative feeling, all of a sudden you are very much focused on changing external circumstances...
If you feel down, then just feel down...
Don't try to change things!
For example, you don't like how you speak Dutch. So a logical thought would be to make sure that somehow you will speak great Dutch. Then you would feel happy, right?
If you think about it logically, it makes perfect sense... But... there is a tricky trap....
In most cases changing external situations is not that easy. On top of that, once you feel bad, it often triggers more negative feelings... All of a sudden you feel overwhelmed. Even if you know exactly what to do, it just looks overwhelming.... That is why trying to change things when you feel down does not really help in most cases... On the contrary, it just tends to drain you even more to negative places....
So, what to do, if a Blue Monday feeling hits you?
Here is another strategy but.... it does not make sense to the mind....
Whenever you feel negative, then just feel negative. Don't try to change it, don't try to get rid of feelings that you don't like... Just sit still if necessary.... Moreover, just let go of wanting to change anything.... Just see how - just for now - you can accept the situation as it is, without feeling the need or urge to change anything... If it means that you have to feel negative, then just allow all feelings...
Many people do not like to do this. They are affraid that if they do nothing, then the negative feelings stay. But... whether you believe it or not, feeling come and go. They are never everlasting. Luckily, also the negative feelings go, if you are willing to really feel them, without trying to change anything....
Once you do this, something amazing happens... You'll notice how gradually negative feelings go away, in a very natural way....
Then little by little, once you start feeling better just imagine how life could be more positive if you did different things. Sure... it may take a couple of days, but that at the end, this does not really matter. You'll notice that once you start to feel better, ideas may all of a sudden come up and you'll find inspiration to make some positive changes.
Here is an important secret... it is always easier to achieve things if you start with a positive energy... If you like to improve your Dutch for example, you'll discover that it is much easier if you do it from a place where you are curious and where you would like to discover new exciting things
Negative feelings will never stay forever.They come and go...
Once they go, you'll notice how your perspective changes...
Therefore... if you feel down on Blue Monday or any other moment just give in to those feelings.... don't try to change to change anything.... Don't try to solve things when you feel negative... Just feel negative if that is needed and then one moment or another in most cases, it will gradually go away...
Whenever you would like to make a positive change, make sure that you feel a positive energy first! Be patient if you have to...
Here is another thought that might help.... Blauwe maandag in Dutch means a very short time... You can say: ik studeerde voor een blauwe maandag aan de universiteit and that means that you only studied for a very short time... Therefore Blue Monday is often blauwe maandag... it may feel unpleasant, but... it will often last only a very short time! Simply allow yourself to feel down, now and then and you'll see... with a little patience, things will get easier and who knows? Soon enough you may reach new heights again :)
How is Blue Monday for you? Is it your worst day or are you doing quite okay? Please share!
